doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything