At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
