Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
