turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize