We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize