Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize