AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
