he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
