I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
