Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
