Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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