you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
