Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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