so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
