Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
