It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
