Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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