why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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