Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Actions speak louder than pants.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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