singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
