u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
