Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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