Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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