nut hugger
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize