god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize