my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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