I can text with my tongue
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He felt like a one man threesome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
