Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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