Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
