I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
