My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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