I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
