So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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