Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
