We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
