Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
