You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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