This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
