There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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