Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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