how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
