Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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