their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
