I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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