She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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