i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
