Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.