i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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