I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
