she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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