Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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