i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I am morally bankrupt
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
