I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize