I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.