Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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  (616): when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me. (248): who is this? http://tfl.nu/n5nl
  Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (962)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.

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  (708): We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan. http://tfl.nu/28ik
  Replies (22) Good night (4870) Bad night (531)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time

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  (248): I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time http://tfl.nu/04o8
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (3368)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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  (908): Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner. http://tfl.nu/otz7
  Replies (36) Good night (16848) Bad night (918)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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  (404): What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender? http://tfl.nu/bcp3
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (2261)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

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  (519): It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE. http://tfl.nu/hewz
  Replies (12) Good night (1434) Bad night (2069)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (1961) Bad night (821)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1170) Bad night (1161)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?

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  (410): fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up? http://tfl.nu/rzhf
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (1361)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

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  (+44): She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen http://tfl.nu/pozx
  Replies (3) Good night (1788) Bad night (446)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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  (334): What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub http://tfl.nu/it3y
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (499)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1631) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.

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  (321): I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out. http://tfl.nu/5y00
  Replies (4) Good night (1626) Bad night (263)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.

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  (574): I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever. http://tfl.nu/zs85
  Replies (7) Good night (325) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

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  (281): Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/2igt
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (195)

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