She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20