i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
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After tacos, we're chasing women.