Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
