You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
As shirtless as possible
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
